#christmas

SMIRNOV. Hola! I don't have to do this for you but I will. The other night the BBC broadcast some so called Christmas-influenced party hits. In short it was a fuck-up. When half the tracks weren't being cut out, they just weren't much cop. So you won't be getting Mariah Carey shit or some weird clips of Anne Lennox dressed as a Victorian dominatrix. You'll get shit like this instead:



SMIRNOV. 'Paul McCartney's Sexual Christmas'.

SMIRNOV. It wouldn't be christmas my friends, without Gary Glitter. A fine christmas song.

SMIRNOV. You can't beat a bit 'o Granddady at Christmas.

SMIRNOV. Enjoying the party? Great? I've got my empty toilet duck plastic bottles out, to light up, to line the roof and put on the tree outside, make the street look really classy. The shopping's done. It's spam and some chocs from Lidl this year. The presents are wrapped courtesy of the ladies in town collecting for charity. 11p it cost me to get one item wrapped! Okay, here's another christmas tune to get all excited about.

SMIRNOV. You see, I do make merry at christmas. Be nice if we had it every two or four years though, eh? It'll be Olympic bloody fever next year.

SMIRNOV. While I remember, and if anyone has bothered to watch this, or is reading this, or is actually interested, the next issue will feature Autobahn 1's videos and songs of the year in some form. Obviously it'll be my personal choice but it'll still be more realistic and rather better than the likes of Pitchfork and Drowned in Sound. Okay? Then in 2012 we'll be tweaking the format a little to encompass not just music videos but interviews, extracts from films and all sorts of quirks. It'll be more of an arts magazine. Kind of.

SMIRNOV. Thought I'd play an actual 'performance' of Frankie not the bullshit video. Nearly at an end. Patience.

SMIRNOV. Best christmas song ever. Right, goodbye. See you soon. I'll leave you with something really festive...